Tuesday, 18 June 2013

My ship always sink

I always have a problem letting people in my life. Fully trusting someone is something i really struggle with. Although, people who know me generally think i'm friendly and outgoing.. cause i'm really talkative ( not always in a good way..) but despite that, it really hard to for me to have best or close friends. Ever since i had a misunderstanding with one of my secondary school friend, it was then i realize her true colors. That's why when i made new friends, if there was any occasion that i saw their ugly true colors i tend to step one step back.. I know it sounds really terrible ! But i'm really afraid that history will repeat itself. I guess i'm always looking for the easy way out.

It's really easy to make friends, but best friends are really hard to find. Sometimes i think the problem is really me, i usually only let others in my life but not my secrets. Having to know that no matter what that person got your back, won't take you for granted... Cause i have people that constantly take me for granted, always thinking that because i'm always so happy and cheerful that i'm okay with anything.. HATE THAT FEELING !  Please don't think i'm easy to bully ! I'm a strong and aggressive ! don't mess with me, i will bring you down ! Seriously sometimes, i get really angry when other people only think of their own convenience and need to inconvenience others to suit with their plans... Come on ! Why sometimes people always think that they are the only one with problems?? We are all in the same situation, shouldn't all our problems be the same ?  Seriously massive face palm !  The world owes you nothing, so stop acting like everyone is suppose to give you something ! geeezz.. My GOD.. really need to blow off some steam..

I don't need friends to tell me how to act, how to look and how to dress.. Everyone has their own style and own look. stop criticizing people if you yourself have nothing to show. Was chit chat-ing with chan won, and she was telling me about her problems, there was one thing that she told me which i totally agreed with her. :-- her friend was telling her, :" if you're my friend, you should be there for me when i'm frustrated. she answered , " then who is going to be there for me when i'm frustrated?"   Which i think it's true, if you are the one who is going to pick up other people mess, who is going to pick up yours?! Shouldn't friends be there for you and try to make some changes so that the plan will suit to both parties.. and not insist and fight. I have seen so many people can so easily express their angry with people they hardly know, who's to say that if you are friends they won't do it to you !

Typing all these out, made me think back.. i really don't want and need a friend who makes me sad and angry. Life is so short to be upset and unhappy. Is it too much to ask for a friend that you can spend time with and have fun.. ?  & FYI : to those out there thinks that i'm talking about you, I'm not ! unless you did something to upset me. XD.. hahha..  I had to express myself. & i heard blogging about it, is the modern therapy ! hahahah..  My friends, 朋友, kawan-kawan, pls don't take this personally.. i was just typing all these to see whether you will finish reading my post. hahha. i guess i got you ! *wink.  xoxo.

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